Unlocking Potential: Life Changing Hacks of NLP Training & Coaching

January, 2012. I went to Dubai to attend a 2-day event. At the hotel where the event was being held, right beside it there was a huge banner—about the size of a two-story building. It had a large image of a man’s head and below it, in bold letters:“Seminar on Neuro Linguistic Programming by its creator Dr. Richard Bandler.”

The banner was eye-catching. First, you don’t usually see banners that big. But what really made me curious was—if this was a seminar on computer programming, why was there a human head on the banner?

I decided—I must attend this seminar, no matter what.

Dubai is an expensive city. Nothing useful comes for free. I spent quite a lot of money on the ticket and walked into the seminar while mentally cursing myself—was it really worth wasting so much money like this?

At that time, I had absolutely no idea what was waiting for me.

That 7-day seminar would completely change my life—my learning, my understanding, and my career. I couldn’t have imagined it even in my dreams.

At the very beginning, I learned something important:This system is not about desktop or laptop programming. It is about programming our “neck-top computer” — the human brain.

This system is called Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).

In 1976, American professor John Grinder and his student Richard Bandler developed this “mental programming language” for personal development and interpersonal communication.

They proposed that:

• Our behavior patterns are shaped by experience

• These patterns are connected to our neurological processes and language

• And these patterns can be changed to achieve specific goals

They even claimed NLP can help with:

• Phobias

• Depression

• Stress

• Panic attacks

• Psychosomatic issues

• Even some physical conditions like allergies, colds, or poor eyesight

• And even influencing attraction between people

How We Perceive Reality

Through our five senses, we collect information and build a unique mental map of the world. This mental map is the core of NLP.

Every second, we can receive about 2 million bits of information, but we process only about 134 bits.

That means we delete most of the information.

For example, while walking down a street, we look—but we don’t really see.Our brain generalizes:“Same kind of people, same kind of trees.”

But this generalization differs from person to person.

What is important to you may not be important to me.

So even if we walk on the same road, we don’t see the same things.

Meaning Is Relative

We assign meaning by comparing new information with past experiences.

Example:If you knew before that something with four wheels is called a car, when you see a moving object with four wheels, you identify it as a car.

But meaning is not fixed—it depends on context.

Imagine falling from a height:

• Were you pushed from a building?

• Or are you doing bungee jumping for fun?

Physiologically, your body reacts similarly.But emotionally, the experience is completely different.

That’s because your brain—not your body—decides what you feel.

Filtering Reality

We can only consciously think about 7 ± 2 pieces of information at a time.

So even though millions of data enter our brain, we only focus on a few—and only on what we want to focus on.

Example:

If you expect your boss to scold you today, suddenly you notice a “Hiring” sign on another office building—Even though it’s been there for a month.

Why today?Because your brain filtered it for you.

But if you don’t care about losing your job, you might not see that sign at all—instead, you’ll notice a travel agency.

Different priorities = different reality.

Your Reality Is Not Absolute

What you see and feel is only a part of reality—and that part is constructed by you.

So all meanings created by your brain are relative.

NLP says:👉 You can change how your brain thinks for you.

Even if your brain tries to control your thoughts automatically,👉 You can take control back.

Conscious vs Subconscious Mind

• Conscious mind: works at ~100 miles/hour

• Subconscious mind: works at ~100,000 miles/hour

Before your conscious mind decides something, your subconscious has already influenced it.

The Role of the Brain

The amygdala controls emotions, while the frontal lobe handles logic.

When you try to quit smoking:

• Amygdala gets triggered by emotional memory

• Frontal lobe starts justifying smoking

So even if you decide not to smoke, you end up smoking.

NLP Solution: Control the Amygdala

You can train your brain to:

• Calm the amygdala

• Activate rational thinking

Example technique:

• Imagine your angry colleague looking like a funny frog

• This reduces emotional intensity

• Helps you stay calm and avoid conflict

Key Insight from Paul Ekman

Emotions are not chosen by you—your limbic system decides them.

But humans are special—we can control our prefrontal cortex.

NLP Techniques

1. Disassociation Technique

Shift your focus from negative thoughts to positive strengths.

Example:Instead of thinking “I’m bad at English,” think:

• I’m good at teamwork

• I’m creative

• I have strong presentation skills

2. Anchoring Technique

Create an emotional trigger:

• Practice confidence while touching your watch

• Recall a happy memory

• Later, repeat the gesture to regain confidence

3. Mirroring Technique

Subtly copy someone’s:

• Body language

• Tone

• Habits

This builds subconscious trust and rapport.

Very useful in:

• Sales

• Leadership

• Communication

4. Covert Hypnotic Persuasion

Influence someone by appealing to their role or identity.

Example:Asking a strict instructor for help made him supportive instead of punishing.

5. Hierarchy of Criteria

When someone has multiple responsibilities, they prioritize one over another.

Example:A man broke traffic rules in New York.When stopped by police, he asked for help instead of defending himself.

The officer chose to help instead of punishing.

Final Reflection

I am now an NLP trainer.

Years ago, when I first learned this, I was extremely excited.

Over time, through personal and corporate training, I’ve seen how much self-control can improve.

Sometimes I feel amazed—and fortunate.

You can try it too.

Just remember—If everyone learns this, who will you practice it on? 😉

Tanveer Shawn

NLP Practitioner

Trainer and Life Coach